falling.

fourth grade was quite a transition for me.

i needed glasses, and i chose the biggest frame possible.

i wanted short hair. like boy-short hair. & i got exactly what i wanted.

i was selected to be in a.i.a. couldn’t tell you what that stands for today, but it was like honors for elementary school.

i was a four-eyed, boyish-looking smarty pants, and i ruled the fourth grade pod.

every year we had a festival at church. it was called autumnfest & i freakin’ loved it.

it was tradition that my dad, bro & i would head up to western md to pick apples for the fest. it was my favorite part for a couple reasons. a) i skipped school b) that was really the only reason.

so autumnfest begins. i run around like a crazy person.

check out all the quilts.

buy every baked good i can with my pocket full of change.

jam out to the banjo player in the field.

jump from hay bail to hay bail as i sing along.

as i jumped in the air to the next hay bail, i missed my footing and BAM, fell to the ground.

shocked, i laid there. i didn’t feel any pain but i did get mighty embarrassed.

my pastor ran over to me asked if i was okay. don’t remember what i said, but i did use his assistance to get up off the ground.

i see my dad & start bawling. couldn’t help it.

we head to the hospital & turns out i broke my elbow. my right elbow.

i went with the standard cast color: hot pink. i had all the nurse staff sign my cast, bc helloooo this is the coolest thing EVER.

the rest of my fourth grade career consisted of me taking every school pic with a hot pink cast & the most awful handwriting you can imagine. what a transition.

last week i fell while i was running.

it was a classic case of adrenaline, excitement, not paying attention & poor architecture.

banged up both knees & gained some serious perspective.

first – friends are awesome. especially the friends that will laugh & cry with you as you curse the sidewalk & say a few other choice words in pain & shock.

second – random strangers who stop to help even in their busy lives. they show so much compassion it’s crazy. i wanna be like that. why am i not like that?

third – i’m not invincible. i can do everything right, plan everything out, think every last detail out, & i can still get hurt.

fourth – i’m not in control. i think i am, but i’m not.

fifth – i’ve gotta be okay with laughing at myself. i’m ridiculous & that’s okay. i face planted in front of what felt like an entire city. really, it was only like 10-15 people, but who cares? it was hilarious. just laugh.

i’m still nursing my baby knees back to health. maybe i’ll get a sweet scar out of it.

so, wherever you are, be all there.

i’m know exactly what that means, but good grief that’s hard when you aren’t where you wanna be.

i’m gonna chose to be all there. i’ll run, i’ll dance, i’ll sing, i’ll be all there. i’ll laugh when all i really wanna do is crawl away in defeat.

#crazy